


You Were Never Enough

by lookaroundlookaround_23



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Cussing, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookaroundlookaround_23/pseuds/lookaroundlookaround_23
Summary: Reader felt that she deserved more than long ass rides in the Camaro and “dates” that were watching her boyfriend’s basketball games. Based on the song, "Never Enough" from The Greatest Showman (2017)





	You Were Never Enough

"I’m trying to hold my breath"

Billy is…interesting. I started dating him in the beginning of our senior year, when he first moved to Hawkins, Indiana. When I first met him, I thought he was the biggest dipshit ever. But we eventually became friends. And then Tommy H set us up. And it worked out. Until now, that is. Me, Billy, Tommy and Carol are having what we call, a “Bitching Festival” at Carol’s place. A Bitching Festival is when we get together, eat junk food and start bitching about the people we hate.

To be honest, I don’t like it. I try my best to keep what I say about teachers so that I don’t have to feel guilty about saying that I could hate one of my friends. I wanted to wait for a day for Billy not to come. So that I could tell Tommy and Carol that I was fed up with him. But he always came so that he wouldn’t have to be responsible for his little sister, Max. I have to bite my tongue so that I don’t yell at Billy. He’s bashing Steve Harrington because of his previous title, “King Steve”. Currently, Billy holds that title, but just the king of Hawkins. Steve is honestly a sweet person. He tries his best to make everything go right, and even if nothing did, he’d still try. The only reason why, in my opinion, Billy hates Steve is because he’s everything he’s not.

"Let it stay this way

Can’t let this moment end"

I wanted to leave, but at the same time, I didn’t want to. Being in the arms of Billy Hargrove is like hugging a giant teddy bear attached to an endless supply of heat. The ones you’d get for valentine’s day and promposals. I could stay in his arms forever. But only if forever was the moments he’d keep his mouth shut. If he were a nicer person, I would’ve asked him if we could stay like that forever. But he wouldn’t like my definition of forever.

"You set off a dream in me"

In the beginning, hanging around Billy made me a terrible person. I started seeing the worst in others instead of giving them a chance of breaking away from what others think of them. I broke a freshman’s pencil because they wouldn’t stop talking shit. Pretty crazy right? I got slapped in the face by my mother after I had refused to listen when she yelled at me for coming home 3 hours past my curfew in the weekends because of parties. That was my reality check. If you went back to a younger version of me, you’d never expect to see me at a party in the future. The way I would be all over Billy at parties would make you think that my parents were planning on disowning me after getting a call from Planned Parenthood.

"Getting louder now

Can you hear it echoing?"

Billy would sometimes tell me, late at night, that I make his heart skip a beat. That we’re soulmates. I used to believe it. But the only echoing I hear now is my head pounding because of the “music” he plays so loudly in our drives home from school.

There was this one freshman on the Junior Varsity basketball team who knew how to push Billy’s buttons. There was this one day, he came up to me, and said, 

“Take my hand”

So I did as I was asked. I knew about the boy’s feelings for me. I thought he was going to ask me out by doing some grand gesture. I decided to wait until he decided we’d gone far enough. He stopped outside the auditorium and opened the door for me and motioned for me to step inside. The stage was lit up with lights of all sorts of colors and a table with 2 plates on it. When I got there, my name had been written, in Sharpie, on a napkin and “B.H.” on the other one. I knew immediately it was Billy. As soon as I sat down, the man himself approached me. 

We sat down together, ate, talked, and laughed. He asked his friend in the sound room to put on some soft music. He stood up, got down on one knee before me and said, 

“Will you share this with me?”

And so, I did. Again, and again, and again, and again, until we lost our sense of reality.

"Cause darling, without you"

Billy always did cliche things to remind me that he loved me. He’d leave notes in my locker, spell it out on a teacher’s chalkboard, and walked me to class. A lot of people, even me, would say that he’s whipped. Cause he is! The days we didn’t have school and didn’t see each other, he’d call me. It was like a dating version of Nancy and Barb. We were inseparable.

"All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the nightsky

Will never be enough

Never be enough."

I always felt that even though Billy tried his best to keep me happy, I never got, nor gave enough. It was one thing to run out of love, it was another thing to be greedy. I’ve decided to start being real with Billy. That way I won’t feel as bad.

"Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it’ll

Never be enough

Never be enough

For me"

For my birthday, he bought me a leather pencil skirt. He told me he’d like to see it on me more often. I burnt it when he left. I’m vegan, what else do you want me to do? He asked me where it was, I told him my sister wore it while visiting her boyfriend in Russia and he ripped it off of her while doing unspeakable things. Besides, that skirt was $60. All I wanted was a trip to Hawkins Lab.

"Never, never"

“I thought you said your sister was in college in New York and wouldn’t be leaving until the summer.” Billy said. “Oh wait no, I got it mixed up. My sister’s boyfriend came to visit her at her dorm room.” I grinned. “Do you not like the things I buy you?” Billy frowned. “No, no. I do! It’s just my sister looks better in revealing clothes than I do.” I pretended to feel sorry. I wasn’t lying, I don’t like revealing clothes but he could do better than just a skirt.

"For me"

For Billy’s birthday, I decided to buy him a Walkman with a pair of headphones. Mainly so that he wouldn’t play it out loud. 

“Do you not like it when I play my music?” Billy laughed. “No, I was thinking that you could have that instead of having to go out to your car.” I smiled. And it worked. But just at night. I’d still have to listen to it on the drive back home. 

"All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the nightsky 

Will never be enough

Never be enough"

“Can we pleeeaasseee just go outside? It’s not even that cold.” I pouted. “You can see just fine from here.” Billy groaned. “But you’re tall, I’m not. I have to put my head in uncomfortable positions just to see the stars.” I rolled my eyes. In case you couldn’t tell, Billy and I are stargazing… In his car. Makes sense right? Yeah, for him. “How about we just go? We’ve been here long enough.” I said. “Fine.” Is all he said. The car ride was silent. I felt a little bad but mostly disappointed. Things like this happen a lot where our dates are only beneficial to him. He never asks, “what would you like to do?”, or, “where would you like to go?” I’ve had enough.

 

"Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it’ll

Never be enough

Never be enough

For me"

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Billy leaned against the locker next to mine. “I think it’s pretty obvious.” I rolled my eyes. “Well can you make it obvious because I’m not understanding why.” He said. “I’ve just run out of patience for you. I don’t want to be with you anymore.” I avoided eye contact as I put what I didn’t need in my locker. “Y/n, give me another chance. I can fix this.” He put a hand on my arm. “I already said no, Hargrove. I’m sure you’re a nice guy but you’re just not what I want.” I closed my locker and walked away.

 

{WRITTEN ON JUNE 16TH, 5:29 PM, 17:29}


End file.
